A letter to the bullies on National Day of Action Against Bullying and Violence March 16

A message to you....

I am writing to you. You are the person who has experienced pain. Maybe someone has said many unkind words to you. They may have hurt your physical body. They may have left you alone and you felt like there was no one in the world there for you. And perhaps there wasn't? 

Or maybe you are surrounded by people. People who love you. People who care in their own way, yet you are not happy. You are not ok.  

Sometimes you don't even know that you are not ok. Or you don't know just how 'NOT OK" you actually are! 

Whatever is happening for you, I understand that sometimes when you are feeling sad or scared that you may say unkind words, write unkind words on-line. You may gossip to your friends about "her or him" and when you do, you may even think its "nothing" and that they "deserved it. " You may do all kinds of things that end up hurting others. There are too many to list and that is not the point of what this letter is all about. This letter is about you. Who you really are. Not what you may say or do to others. 

Right now I want you to know something. You are NOT a bad person. 

As you type those unkind words, exclude that girl or boy, push, shove, yell, make sure everyone knows what is "wrong" with that other person;  that you doing these things; not because that is who you actually are. It is because hurting someone else is better than actually feeling what you carry around day in day out -  and that is all the sadness and feeling scared that you feel, on some level. Even if you are not aware of it. 

I want you to know that what I see when I look at you is a person who has lost their way. Who has had to stop seeing other people as having feelings because in your life feelings are such a confusing thing. Your mind and your body are reacting. Reacting to the pain that it is in your life and pain will always find a way of expressing itself. And for some people, sometimes; that pain expresses itself by hurting others.  

I want you to know something. When you were born, your natural state is to be connected to the feelings of others, to care about the feelings of others. Its just a scientific fact. Your are wired for kindness. That is scientifically who you are. Even if you can't see it or feel it right now; we can't change science. You are KIND!!! and you care about the feelings of others!!! Its a scientific fact!!! 

I want you to know this because no matter what is happening in your life right now there is hope. There is help. On this national day of action against bullying I know that you may be feeling some shame, embarrassment, guilt. It can be a hard day when you are the one who has been doing the bullying. 

Today, of all days; I invite you to take one small step and reach to and get the help you need. You can live another way. and that way can be a way where you can find other ways to look after your pain. It is possible to easily look after that pain that you carry. and it is actually easier than you think. Its just that no one has shown you the way.

I want you to reach out to me. I can help you. Kindness On Purpose can help you. I can help you get started on the right track. To reconnect with who you are. Your kind and caring self. Your scientifically proven self. You deserve it. 

If you would like me to help you, then please email me at katrina@kindnessonpurpose.com and I can give you a few ideas.. to get you started. Because bullying is not who you are. Kindness is who you were born to be. 

Much love and Kindness


Katrina Cavanough

CEO and Founder of Kindness ON Purpose